Wednesday, January 6, 2010

So What If I'm The Slowest Writer On The Planet- Here's My Avatar Review

I have a pretty good imagination... Some would call it a curse, I call it Home.

Was that a pretty dramatic introduction? I'm working on my writing skills! also, wiping my ass with the opposite hand. You never know when a lightsabre duel (AKA "bus door") might claim the one you trust around your deepest, darkest... and you know you never realized until this very moment just how difficult that would be. Am I right? Of course I am. You're welcome.

But seriously, I do imagine stuff. You could pretty much say I live in a dream world with your reality as the staging ground for my absurdist ponderings... you could also pretty much say I'm exactly what your super hot, young sister has been needing... c'mon... say it! Not to me, Einstein... to her! It's this imagination that has made me a fan of movies since before dinosaurs roamed the Hollywood Hills. But as much as I love movies, there was always a two dimensionality to them that kept them from being as immersive as they could have been. If it were up to me, movies would, if they could, add.......... wait for it............ a THIRD dimension to them. And do you know what? Some other genius had the exact same idea! Yadda Yadda Yadda, Avatar!

Fantastic. Everything I hoped the beginning of a new era in movie making would be. Can't wait to see what follows. Imagine if The Exorcist had been filmed in digital 3D? Or a movie like The Blair Witch Project? Fight Club? Lord Of The Rings? Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure? Porn?

Things are about to get good :)

Anyway, with that said... *** SPOILER AHEAD (not really) *** Admit it... you totally couldn't take your eyes of those blue, 3D boobies either! Ten feet tall or not, I'd show her the full sickness of my jungle fever, if you know what I mean... 'cause I sure as hell don't...

So... that's my review. Go see it... and see it in 3D... even if that means booking a flight to another country to do it. If you've only seen it in 2D, demand your money back and see it again in 3D. If they give you a hard time, show them your 3D fist until they give up... or you go to jail [Please Note: Thirty4Point5 is not responsible for any prison time incurred by any readers incarcerated for acting upon said blogs suggestions of ultimate awesomeness... but I would definitely find it funny].


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