Saturday, May 2, 2009

Who Knew Hitler Was Spanish?

Just a couple of quick blurbs...

Shot my stuff for the Ira Jacob Cooper film 'Anti Porn' today. As always it was an excellent time working with Ira and Angel Acosta! The ideas are way off the hook and the environment they provide always allows for plenty of opportunity to bring whatever it is you've got to bring to the table... and then some. I can't even begin to describe what this film is going to be like once it's cut together... but, let me just say, in it I play Willie Supreme the pimp-ass peeping-tom DJ, a half-naked cowboy with whipped cream running off my face, and a Spanish guy dressed as Hitler hidden in a closet. Seriously, what more could you need to hear before you start phoning in your Academy Award nominations? If you're still not convinced, here's a quote from Angel Acosta himself that I found published someplace (AKA my Facebook page...) , "you played 3 different characters in 1 movie-thats Peter Sellers good!!" I rest my case and should probably get comfortable with "rest" since Angel doesn't know what the hell he's talking about and, after seeing my performance in this film, it's unlikely anyone will ever hire me again! I also had the pleasure of working with two very fine actors, Anna Hassard and Jeff Kaiser... as well as the very talented Fernanda Araujo and Shahram Nasr working the camera, lights and audio. The good folks at Fortunato Films always know where to dig up the best, brightest and most beautiful talent and it was a pleasure to once again be included in one of their productions.

Now... speaking of productions: Wolverine! What could I possibly say about this film except, it would have been way better if, after an hour into the film, it didn't flip upside down and start playing in reverse from the end. For a few minutes... okay... the entire time... I swear I thought I was having acid flashbacks... and by "flashbacks" I mean "the acid I took 30 minutes before was really starting to kick my ass!" I'm generally not so picky about what I find entertaining hell, I still get hours of enjoyment from farts, boogers and lint in my belly button, but spoiling the end of the movie in reverse... then letting the film run for at least ten minutes before management stopped it and kicked us all out with a refund and a complimentary movie pass... has to be one of the lamest movie-going experiences I've ever had... and I've had some pretty bad ones like the time I vomited blueberry pie all over the other pie eating contestants, thus causing everyone in the crowd to start vomiting on each other... and no, I didn't steal that from Stand By Me... I stole it from Stephen King's 'The Body'... which was later made into a movie. I can't recall what it was called.... Oh yeah! Stand By Me! Why do you always have to bring up the old shit? So, maybe the movie is good... I can't really say for certain. But what I can say is that I will never stop being entertained by the spectacular shortcomings of others. Thanks Scotiabank Theatre for making my movie premier viewing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine memorably horrendous!

Love, Peace & Chicken Grease,

* Note: I wouldn't really take acid, mmm kay... at least not without a flask of tequila to wash it down... and mine got confiscated at the concession stand. What? They're all kids working there for Christ's sake... I thought threatening them with permanent puberty blockage might put the fear in them but, apparently, all those movies and video games really did make all the children violent. It was like swinging through a slugfest of armpit high, popcorn packing prepubescents! Before I knew it, somewhere in the melee I must have dropped ol' Jose Cuervo and left him to that treacherous pack while I fled to the safety of the darkened theatre. Either way, drugs are bad. However... I really do find farts, boogers and belly button lint quite enthralling...

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