Thursday, April 30, 2009

True Dat!

Okay. So. Stupid life has been taking up my stupid time. Man, everything is so stupid! * Except me... and Ashley Greene... we're still totally awesome! Anyway, I'm going to do my best to shrug off some responsibilities in the very near future and get you 50cc's of Blog, STAT!

In the meantime, here's 2 things 4 you:

1) Do I ever love me some energy drink. mmmmmmm, mmm! Yes sir! And as a mix for Gold Rum... even mmmmmmm, mmm-ier! Now, I've tried them all... from Red Bull, to Rockstar, to Xenergy, to crack... no... wait... skip that last part. Crack is bad... as a mix. But now, thanks to some very clever product placement in 'Fast and Furious'... what?... Paul Walker personally coerced me into getting my fix on with a drink called NOS... just like the nitrous they inject into their cars in the movie! See, kids, that's called clever marketing! Now, because I'm an advertisement sponge... kinda like Spongebob if Spongebob were awesome... I just had to test drive (how's that for clever wording? see... it's topical... so it's... never mind...) some for myself... and who knows, maybe if I'm as cool as Paul Walker's character, I could hook up with that girl from the movie that he [spoilers ahead] hooks up with. So I tried some! Now, I don't know dick about cars, Nitrous, or chicks that Paul Walker character's would hook up with, but I do know one thing: this drink gets me tweaked! With 343mg of caffeine per bottle, if you just chug a bit off the top, then replace that with 2 of those Rockstar shots (with 200mg of caffeine each), drop in a double shot of Jagermeister... then I'd guess you'd have a trip to the cardiologists for an alllllllll nighter! Guaranteed! Personally, I haven't tried this concoction yet... but I'm curious what 743mg of caffeine and a puke inducing quantity of Jager would do for maintaining the journalistic integrity of the infamous Totally Wasted Movie Reviews. [Anyone want to take bets on whether I make it through a movie alive? * I'm betting everything I've got on SIDS (Stupid Idea Death Syndrome)...]

2) What you're looking at in this tiny image to the left (click for a larger image) are the first two shirt designs for Thirty4Point5 (that's this blog for those of you who wear crash helmets and drool bibs... which, ladies, I happen to find hot... especially since I know that pretty much guarantees you're available...) The top one says (since I know you cant read it) 'Thirty4Point5 [hearts] Ashley Greene' and has the blog URL across the back in shameless advertising fashion (see Paul Walker, I'm learning!)... and the second, if you're not so clever and can't figure it out, just says 'Thirty4Point5' also with the URL on the back. Now... I'm pretty sure they'll be selling for about $25 each... not because I think I'm Bono and anything I stick my stink-fingers into is worth a mint... but because, let's face it, there's probably only about 2 people on the planet who want them and quantities that low don't come cheap (if you need a stack, Ashley, give me a call and I'll see if i can't knock them down a buck or two for you) But, if for some obscene, irrational reason you think you might like to replace that old A-TEAM t-shirt you sleep in with something guaranteed to land you hot chicks like my girl, Ashley, then hit me up and I'll deliver the goody-good-goods.

That's pretty much it.

Tomorrow is geek Friday, so I've taken the day off to go see that movie about that hairy guy from the movie 'Australia'... Huge Jackass, or something... what's it called again? Wolverton? Whatever... expect a review laden with unappreciated spoilers.

Also, the next film I'll be in gets shooting this weekend as well! I'm really looking forward to it... mostly 'cause I'm kinda all about shaving off this beard I've grown so I could cut out a lush pimp-stache for the character... and 'cause acting is fun! It's like when the cops stop you and you have to explain that, though you look over 30, you're definitely 14 and, therefore, he should stop worrying about why he rolled up on the street to find you with your tongue in his daughters ear... it's all about the performance in the moment, man. Can you dig it?

And I swear... that interview with Deniz is coming. It turns out my ambitions were bigger than the average blog-reader's attention span and I've collected entirely too much information and need to trim it down so you won't just blow over it... 'cause Deniz is the bomb... and he'll blow your shit up if you don't pay attention to what he's got to say (he talks a lot of trash about Vancouver and Paris. Are you all fired up now?)

So... yeah... that's it!


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