Totally Wasted Movie Reviews #2: The Spirit

Okay... I'm totally wasted (11 shots of tequila... I kept a running tally)

This totally awesome review is for the "film" The Spirit... see 2 posts ago for a synopsis 'cause, seriously, I can't recap...

Anyway... this review is the bomb... here we go:

The Spirit... FAIL!!!

I'm seriously only about 15 minutes in and I can't watch another second. What a waste of tequila!!!

Rather than waste any more of my wastedness on a review, I'll say this: don't waste your time... not even one second. And, if you watched the trailer I posted, I apologize for wasting those moments of your life.

Instead, here are the notes I was taking as I was wasting 15 minutes of my life!

[spoilers ahead]

***

Trailers: Blue Ray T2 = Awesome!

Hulk vs... - Awesome!

Crank / Transporter - LAME!

Opening visually captivating

Sin City?? LAME...

Action solid... so far

Thumbs up

Eva Mendes :)

Bathroom Break - I'm F-Bombed up (11 shots)

Frank Miller cameo lame

Underwater scene - wizzeak!

Sound design nice... as far as sounds... but wrong in a cinematic sense. Incongruous.

Samuel L. Jackson first words, "Heads up" (then he hits The Spirit with a head) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!

Scarlett Johansson!!! (Call me!)

Eyelashes??? 72 pt. "WTF???"

If it wasn't for you, dear reader, I would have shut this off now.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!

Sorry... I can't watch this...

p

p.s. Watching 'Lost in Translation' instead... at least until I pass out. Say... does anyone know how to get vomit stains out of a white, ultra-suede couch?

p.p.s. Have I mentioned how much I love Scarlett Johansson's character in Lost in Translation? 'Cause I kinda do... (Call Me!)

Oh! It's On!!! Totally Wasted Movie Reivews #2 [teaser]: The Spirit

That's right kidlings! It's time for another epic chapter of Thirty4Point5 presents: Totally Wasted Movie Reviews!

Tonight's movie will be 'The Spirit' based on the Will Eisner comic book series with director and screenplay credits going to Frank Miller. Sure 'Sin City' had it's cache, and '300' was pretty epic, but something about this movie just never felt right to me from the trailers... and just reminded me that Frank also wrote 'Robocop 2'... so... yeah..... we'll see.

I figure, in a worst case scenario, I'll have the obscene pleasure of drooling my drinks through the on screen graces of Eva Mendes, Jamie King and Scarlett Johansson (call me!)... even if this movie isn't as good as 'Twilight' *that's a joke... unless your Ashley Greene... in which case I mean it most sincerely (call me!) it should make for something good to dream about later (I'm simple... and single! ladies???)

Here's the plot summary from imdb

Rookie cop Denny Colt returns from the beyond as The Spirit, a hero whose mission is to fight against the bad forces in Central City.

aaaannnddd... the trailer!



Be sure to check back tomorrow to see how this movie held up against a jug-o-tequila...

p