These Arms Are Snakes

It's true, I was pretty wasted, exhausted, and cranked to sweaty-palmed goodness on caffeine, but when I stepped foot into The Biltmore Cabaret, two songs into Seattle's These Arms Are Snakes blistering, heavy-as-shit, odd-timed, hardcore, set of ass-kickery on Sunday night, it was immediately clear that I had found myself up to my ears in something I had intentionally denied myself for far too long... and yes, I said intentionally.

I'm pretty open minded... for instance, I'm totally not opposed to a threesome, or even a foursome with Ashley Greene, a few of her closest female friends, a pool of lime Jell-O and a dozen feather pillows... never let it be said that I'm not a progressive thinker! but sometimes, just sometimes, I can be a close-minded, arrogant, egotistical, snob who is totally not opposed to a threesome, or even a foursome with Ashley Greene, a few of her closest female friends, a pool of lime Jell-O and a dozen feather pillows... call me!, it's totally true. So, for some reason, I had it in my head that These Arms Are Snakes were the harbingers of hipster douchebaggery... and when you're as important and busy as I clearly am, it becomes progressively more and more easy to simply brush off that which truly doesn't matter. And thus, These Arms Are Snakes continued on their merry way without ever once passing my attention...

But if there's one quality I posses in greater quantity than my ignorance and arrogance, it's my never ending willingness to laugh at what an ass I am. So there I was, face melting in a barrage of sound as thick as the lingering afterglow of an orgy between At The Drive In, Fugazi, and The Blood Brothers, laughing my ass off.

That's pretty much it for this review. I tried to be clever, cut me some slack... I have about 3 pounds of sliced deli ham marching through my intestines like a bile tinged sausage army...

Check out this video from These Arms Are Snakes... it's called Red Line Season and is from their most recent album, 2008's 'Tail Swallower and Dove'. Love it or else!



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