Sunday, June 28, 2009

Get 'Em While They're Cold - New Corpse Covers!

Afraid the police might notice your friend is just a severed head? Tired of being asked to buy an extra ticket when you take your decapitated buddy to the movies? Sick of always getting told the All-You-Can-Eat price only covers you and if that rotting head of yours plans on staying, he's gonna have to pay as well?

Me too! (See, Ashley Greene, how much we have in common? You should totally marry me!)

So, since life seems to have a tendency to be way too unfair, we (meaning me) at Thirty4Point5 have come up with a solution: Thirty4Point5 Presents: Corpse Covers!

Now you can take your decomposing head anywhere, anytime, without the hassles of having to accept the responsibility that comes along with it. Simply hide the questionable cranium under one of these stylish chapeaus and you'll be sitting pretty... without all the unwanted questions. And it even prevents accelerated decomposition caused by the uncaring, uncompromising sun! Take that Sol!

Where can you get one of these incredible devices? Simple! Right here! At Thirty4Point5, we have all your needs taken care of... usually before you even realize you have a need! We're that progressive!

Hit me up if you can't live without one of these life saving devices... Quantities are limited (to however many I make up on the spot) so act fast... you'll be glad you did!

* Note: Corpse Covers do not come with severed head... also, Thirty4Point5 and it's subsidiaries accepts no responsibility for the acquisition, use of, or criminal prosecution inherent with severed heads or the bodies to which they once belonged.
** Note 2: Thirty4Point5 DOES accept responsibility for Ashley Greene being as awesome as we (meaning I) say she is...

1 comment:

  1. Peter, your blog is quite good. You have a definite "voice" in your writing. Well done!

    -Michelle Z.